


Consented to be wrecked

by eyesoflauramars (Andromede)



Series: The forbidden 'verse [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jossverse
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Ficlet, Gift, The forbidden series, poor willow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 06:50:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2803442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromede/pseuds/eyesoflauramars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter how many times Willow has wanted to blame Angel for this whole mess deep down she knows the truth of it. She was a more than willing participant in their affair, in the destruction of her life as she knew it. It's all on her</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consented to be wrecked

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Velvetwhip (Gabrielle)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabrielle/gifts).



Willow's mouth fills with the salty taste of tears. She casts her eyes around the room, looking at the faces of all her friends, all the people she cares about most in the world. They all meet her gaze with varying looks of disgust, anger, confusion, and betrayal. Unable to bear the sharp glares that are shredding her to pieces, Willow's watery eyes fall to the floor. Three distorted faces look back up at her; Xander, Buffy, and herself. The picture is from a happier time. Capturing a rare calm, demon free moment in the teen's lives. A moment when they were just three normal youths whiling away a day at the beach. Best friends. Cracks and creases mar their young, smiling faces now; the picture has been crumpled and torn, tossed away like it means nothing. The ache in Willow's chest deepens as she bends forward and gingerly picks up the photograph. She brushes away at the caked on dirt covering it—someone has stomped on it—and clutches it to her breast, wanting to shove the memory into her heart and keep it safe there forever.

 

“Just go.” Willow's eyes snap up at the sound of the voice; it is almost more familiar to her than her own, but she has never heard it like this before. At least not directed at her. Low and simmering with rage, hate. Willow stares at Xander, her oldest and dearest friend, the boy she has always loved more than anything. The sweet chocolate brown eyes she loves to look into so much have turned to mud. Thick and oozing with disdain. She blinks in shock, tears slipping from her eyes and making salty tracks down her cheeks.

 

“Xander,” she chokes out around a sob, his name a plea for forgiveness, understanding.

 

“Save it,” he spits. “No one wants to hear anything you have to say, Willow. We just want you to leave.”

  
  
Willow looks around at the other faces, desperately searching for a lifeline. Giles and Cordelia won't even look at her now, and Buffy... well, if looks could stake. Willow squeezes her eyes shut tightly against the looks of hatred. She sees his face above her, feels his hands, cold and rough on her skin, remembers the sensation of him filling her. Were those secret moments of intense passion worth all of this fall out? Had it been worth losing everyone she cared about? Had  _he_  really been worth it?

 

Of course she always knew this would happen once the secret was out. She has known the consequences from the beginning but it didn't stop her. This is all her fault. She deserves to be hated. Accepting the reality of her situation, Willow casts one more glance at her friends— _her family_ , really—then turns her back to them and leaves.

 

He is waiting for her outside, in the dark. She can feel his presence before he even steps out of the shadows to make himself known. Willow's head turns in his direction but she doesn't raise her eyes from the ground, she stares at the moonlight glinting off his shiny black shoes.

 

“Why?” Her voice is barely a whisper, hoarse from the tears clogging her throat. “Why did you tell them?”

 

“Because you're mine,” he tells her, his words matter-of-fact. “And I wanted everyone to know. Now they do. No more hiding, Willow.”

 

Willow lifts her head and see Angel's outstretched palm held towards her. She looks up at his face, the wicked glint in his dark eyes, the barest hint of a smirk on his thin, bloodless lips. She wants to spit in his face. She wants to hate him for spilling their secret. But she can't. Because no matter how many times Willow has wanted to blame Angel for this whole mess deep down she knows the truth of it. She was a more than willing participant in their affair, in the destruction of her life as she knew it. It's all on her. Breathing out her defeat, Willow reaches out her hand and places it in Angel's. Whether it will pull her up out of the rubble or drag her down deeper, she isn't sure. But either way, she has made her choice.

 

 

_**Fin** _


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